Redneck Cyclocross Weekend

Sat, Oct 30 Psycho Cross, Dick Lane Velodrome, Atlanta Ga
While warming up on the short, tight, and technical "Psycho Cross" course, I found myself in a paceline behind 2 drag queens, and followed by the Incredible Hulk, which begged the question: Am I back in Key West? A short time later, in the second row of the Master's 35+ start grid, I found myself wedged between 2 guys nicknamed "Farmer G" and "Hillbilly Dave", and I knew I was no longer in Key West; a glance down at the red Georgia mud caked to my tires confirmed my coordinates. This week, I moved up from the 30 min CX4 group to the 45min Master's race, thus signing up for an additional 15min of self-induced mutilation. The start whistle blew, and I launched out of the hole, holding onto 7th position up the hill before making a series of curves and bunny-hopping the curb onto the grass track and then into the the woods where I was greeted with tight, technical, dirt single track and the ubiquitous yellow tape marking the course. Out of the woods and running full gas downhill behind the velodrome bleachers, we shoot onto the concrete track and take a half lap, negotiating a chicane up the embankment midway. Before turning into the velodrome's grass infield, I head up the banked track, crossing the Sprinters' Lane before turning back down and gathering momentum that carries me through the first two turns in the grass. And so it goes for 2 more laps, an exhilarating, all out ride, up and down, in and out of dirt, grass, asphalt and the concrete velodrome track. A kaleidoscope of colors and textures navigated by riders in all sorts of costumes. On lap 3 my brake cable slips while negotiating a tight hairpin turn in the woods, and I go straight through the yellow crime scene tape marking our course. While untangling myself, Hillbilly Dave admonishes me not to cut the course. I tell him I plan to return precisely where I exited, 'cuz "My Mama didn't raise no cheater". He bellows out his best hillbilly laugh and I think we've bonded...Race highlight: On the last lap I catch the guy on the Cannondale that passed me on the first run-up, only to lose a 2-up sprint to him by an inch.

Women's Race: The buzz in the women's race was: Who is the short chick with the pink SEW jersey and where did she come from? Why, it was none other than TEAM headstrong's own Cristina Lindsay, lining up in her first 'Cross race. Before the race, I tell Lindsay where I think the best spot on the start grid is, and she makes a beeline to the spot. The start whistle blows, and she rockets out of the hole and up the hill, leaving 11 women in her wake wondering: Who IS this chick? By the end of the first lap, Lindsay has opened a 20 second gap on the field. By the third lap, her lead is reduced to 5 seconds. On lap 3, she extends it to 12 seconds, but on lap 4, she takes a spill negotiating a hairpin turn coming off the grass onto the slick concrete on the velodrome infield. She manages to remount, still in the lead, but is caught and passed on the steep run-up by the Georgia 'Cross Series leader. Tenaciously, Lindsay locks onto her wheel, and then dives through the inside of the last dirt turn out of the woods before flying down the hill and onto the track, once gain leading the race. Life is good, until...she drops her chain. While struggling to put her chain back on, 3 women pass her, and then finally she re-mounts and pushes hard in pursuit, but it's too late; only 2 laps remain and it's not enough time to pull them back. Even so, I think everyone in the field now knows who the short chick in the pink jersey is...

Sun, Oct 31, Life University, Marietta GA
At last, I'm back with my tribe, the Master's 45+ group. However, I'm extended a cold reception, relegated to the back row of the 23 rider start grid because this is my first Georgia 'Cross series race and I have exactly 0 points. The whistle blows and I get an absolutely awful start, stacked behind guys who are having difficulties clipping in while the leaders disappear over the hill. I ride aggressively, trying to pass riders and close the gap on this sketchy, gravel covered course. I nearly overcook some tight, downhill turns, locking up my brakes and sliding through the gravel, but I manage to keep the rubber side down. This course also has another heart-stopping downhill on asphalt roads, past the start finish, before entering an off camber grass section above a large pond, where slightly irritated geese honk at us. I hit the grass section doing about 25mph, and as I enter the slight left turn into the off camber section, I hit my brakes to reduce my speed and the next thing I know I'm sliding down the grass on my left side and headed for the pond, prompting several geese to begin their annual southern migration. By the time I remount, and rejoin what's left of the race, I'm dead last, and now it becomes a game of how many riders I can catch. I relax, and actually ride really well for the rest of the race, passing several riders....Race highlight: Catching the guy in the brightly colored Spiderman costume from the M35+ group and scoring a moral victory for the black-and-white TV Superman generation.

Race results: Perry: 12th/22 Sat; 16th?/23 Sun
Cristina 4th/13 Sat