I realized this afternoon, if only by mistake, that I have made a world changing discovery. As I awoke from a long nap, I knew that a TEAM headstrong Training Ride (ThTR) was the sure cure for insomnia.
You see, I have experienced the benefits of ThTR before, but it was confirmed today. You shower and fall into bed so tired you do not look at the clock. You awake after 'who knows' how long. You have not moved. This is not only not 'tossing and turning', this is sleeping like a dead man, or woman, as the case may be. I failed to cover my shoulder in the cool fan aided climate of our bedroom. My freezing skin did not even pierce my unconsciousness.
And, not to worry. Tonight, like many before, I will enjoy an unabbreviated nights sleep of 8-10 hours more.
Can you imagine, millions of people receiving the prescription for ThRT??? Imagine how many people this could affect?.......the elimination of insomnia in our life time. It's huge!
We can promote ThRT on TV! After the FDA gets ahold of this, a woman with a lyrical voice will end the commercial as follows:
"Always tell the DS if you feel poorly prior to the workout. Do not undertake this effort if you have worked out hard the previous day. This workout will induce serious pain. You may become severely dehydrated, exhausted, experience muscular fatigue and hallucinations. You may become drowsy and you should limit your driving to 'just getting home'. Under no circumstance should you operate a forklift, road grader or helicopter for 24 hours. You should only undertake this intervention if you have trained heavily for one year and your schedule allows a minimum of 12 hours of sleep the day/night of.... Have a minimum of $35 as you will be ravenous. Allow for the intake of high carbohydrate fluid, such as beer. You may experience periods of sexual disfunction. If this disfunction persist for more than 24 hours, see your physician. ThRT is not for everyone."
You know, I have always wanted to make a difference. Students, in the future, will learn about Jonas Salk, Louie Pasteur and now the DS! You guys have all been part of this discovery! I will know my life's work is done as I go to bed tonight.......at 8:30.
2 comments:
This is awesome!! Makes me think of all the disclaimers I read handing out pills at work.
I think you should change the name to ThTR DS. We give lots of pills with DS after meaning double strength :) How fitting.
I'm glad I could be part of your clinical trials. I have had great results from ThTR!
I have felt the full effects of ThRT. NEVER one to leave the house without making my bed to military standards, three Saturdays in a row now I haven't made it up, knowing full well I was going to be back in it before afternoon, and I was! Haven't been so physically exhausted in a long time, but what a joy to be sharing a big engine with my team-mates! The hard work will pay off for Headstrong!!
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